My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize