Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
