I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
