Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
