No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
