You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize