You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
