One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
