i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
