i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
