I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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