But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
