ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
