Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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