I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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