none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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