Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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