yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
