Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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