How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
