Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
