fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
