Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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