I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
my poor anus
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
