I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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