God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
