you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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