They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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