i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize