his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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