loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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