Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize