she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
