so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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