I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
