I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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