Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
