just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
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