Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
