then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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