so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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