Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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