that's an acceptable place to lick
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
