I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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