how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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