My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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