I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
