I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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