You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
