He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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