then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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