I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
