everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Randomize