I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
