maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
