I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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