I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
