apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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