obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we're making bets on your personal life
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
