He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
