I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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